Reality Bites

Our house for now

Every morning I wake up with a sick feeling.  So does Maciek, but he talks himself out of it better than I do.  The butterflies are always there (not talking about the abundance of pretty ones fluttering about that have Milly convinced they are fairies because they are so colourful!  Or the kind that would have my friend in a fit of hysterics – you know who you are!!). 

It’s still a mad rush to get to school, never enough time for a cup of tea or proper breakfast for me.  We have to be out by 7.45 latest, it takes us five minutes to walk to and get into the car, and that’s without the snow and frost.  Even worse is the layers of clothing needed, and worse still when I have Noah all dressed boots and all, and then he decides to do a poo. (It’s okay, he says, I’ve got Winnie on (Winnie the Pooh patterned nappies)).

Around the village

The quality of meat here is not great, weird considering the number of cows, you can’t get a decent steak.  I still haven’t plucked up the courage to order from the deli counter as even though I can rehearse my question, the babble that comes back to me from the butcher leaves me completely stumped, and with a queue of people waiting to order, I’m just too embarrassed.  I know this is silly, but I’m using my avoidance strategy to cope with this one!

The house still needs cleaning, but all I’ve got is an ancient vacuum cleaner that doesn’t pick up and a broom from the shed that looks like it’s been lived in by a number of different residents over the years.  I’m without my Eco spray n wipe, good bathroom cleaners, and steam mop.  Trying to cook good meals with a very-stick frying pan, and without the most basic kitchen utensils is a challenge, and I want to make Babcia’s soup for the kids but where do we get good chicken pieces from?  It takes two hours to do food shopping as we do it at two different supermarkets for the best prices and selection.  And you’re doomed if you forget your 50cents for the trolley or your shopping bags!

When Milly was sick last week with a 40 degree temperature and a cough like her lungs were collapsing I had no idea where the doctor was.  Thankfully my friend’s Austrian father-in-law agreed to see her and she met me in town to take me to his practice.  Being a friend of his DIL he wasn’t concerned with insurance or payment from me (as we hadn’t received Maciek’s insurance from his employer yet) and I was very grateful for that.  She was fine after a couple of days, but it’s always a worry, also not knowing if the doctors will be able to speak English.

We attended our first 5^th birthday party yesterday, a friend’s little boy.  I managed to find him a present but do you think I could find him a card?  It seems they don’t do cards here, so don’t expect any Christmas ones!  I will have to work out how to send e-cards.  My friend says she buys hers from England and sends them back from here!   Milly enjoyed the party until she suddenly threw up, and threw up again on the way home in the car, which went everywhere, and with the lack of cleaning stuff we might be in for an unpleasant scent accompanying our drive to school!  Plus the dryer decided not to work.  So I washed all her clothes, and they’ll probably take days to dry.

The weather turned on Friday.  After a glorious few weeks of mid 20’s, the temperature dropped to 9, and it was pelting with rain all night and most of the day.  Maciek has been riding to work, and without rainproof pants he arrived at work with a soaking wet bum, and had to work like that for hours, thankfully finishing at midday! 

Batty the Snowman

Yesterday there was snow on the mountains.  This morning I woke with the kids at 6.30am to an eerie silence, strange after the pelting of yesterday.  I had an inkling, so we checked through the curtains and were blinded by the white!  Beautiful, until I realized that Amelia still doesn’t have a snow jacket, the kids have no thermals or proper hats, her warmest jacket is still wet after being thrown up on in the car, I have no warm jacket or jumpers whatsoever, or a hat.  And our winter tyres are at Aunty Sue’s house in Germany.

I’ve heard that to feel secure and content we need an equal balance of certainty and uncertainty in our lives.  For us at the moment the only things that are certain are that we have a roof over our heads until 22^nd December, and the kids have school to go to every day at 8am.  Everything else is completely up in the air.  I also know that things could be much worse.  I’m grateful that we do have a comfortable place to stay even if it’s temporary, food on the table, some new friends, and most importantly our health (most of the time!).  But it still doesn’t stop the worry about the future.

The Rockclimber

Sometimes I wish we were happy to just look at our dreams up there in our imaginations from a secure and comfortable place, without feeling the desire to actually reach them.  Things would be much easier, if our dreams remained dreams.  And now that we’re trying to reach ours, I’m wondering if it’s true that if you’re lucky enough for your dreams to become reality, that that’s all they turn out to be?