Foul Play

Pew!!  It was YOU!!

I think it was a Sunday evening when the kids were outside playing to run off some energy just before bed.  Luckily we had just eaten.  You’ll know why I say luckily in a moment.  Maciek and I were enjoying some rare adult-conversation-without-constant-interruption time, when an unpleasant smell wafted into our presence.  My first reaction was to throw Maciek a disgusted look when it very quickly became apparent that this smell did not come from a human being, or just one at least, even though we are talking about my husband!  It descended on us in a matter of seconds, this choke worthy stench that had us coughing and gagging and covering our noses and mouths with our jumpers, and after running into the bathroom to check the plumbing, we realized it was coming from outside.  So my second reaction was to run out and get the kids in.  They’d gone around the back, which meant I had to hold my breath, as it was impossible to breathe without feeling suffocated, but unfortunately I had to take a breath in to call to them.  God only knows how they were playing tag, laughing and shouting, oblivious to the magnificent smell of tonnes of cow poo hanging in the air.  Even after closing all the doors and windows it still stunk inside the house.  I text my friend who lives a couple of houses down “What’s that terrible stench?!!  We can’t breathe!!”.  “Nothing to do with us,” she replied, “It’s the farmers spraying their fields before the rain tomorrow!”.  This I had heard of, so it all gets soaked into the ground good and proper!  And I’ve also been told about the smell.  And of course we’ve had the pleasure of screwing our noses up and saying “Phew” to each other every now and then, but nothing in the world could have prepared us for this.  It was as if a whole herd of cows had saved up all their poo for a week, meandered into our living room and let it all go!  It stunk in the house for hours.  Gratefully by bed time, it had disappeared.  Or perhaps we just got used to it!

On a totally different note, I came to realize that none of the cleaning products, including bleach, or medicines, come with child proof caps.  I discovered this when I left a bottle of fabric softener on the floor whilst putting away the shopping, and then caught Noah just before he took a sip!

And I’ve not experienced it, but apparently when the doctor prescribes paracetamol for your child it comes to you in the form of a suppository.  And heaven help you if you need your temperature checked, they use the same line of enquiry.  Now that’s foul!