WARNING: THIS BLOG ENTRY CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND ADULT CONTENT

Misty mornings

 Hello, Maciek here with another riveting blog entry.  Not much has really been happening while we are waiting for the snow so I thought I’d write a blog about the dangers of mixing German and English together. A work mate told me this story after the apprentice at work didn’t know the word for ‘edge’ so he used the German instead.

Right here we go, (kids do not read on).  The German word for edge is ‘kant’ and is pronounced exactly like the worst word in the English language. You know the one that starts with a ‘C’ and rhymes with hunt.

So the story goes:  A more senior ski instructor who had taught himself English over the years had a group of students,  with one particular nervous lady, who got left behind on top of a ski run and was too scared to go down. The ski instructor wanted to yell out some encouraging words to help her down this particularly steep slope.  He didn’t know the word for edges so he thought he’d improvise by using the German word.

‘Go down slowly on your ‘Kant’’ he yelled. The woman stood there stunned, I would imagine. The instructor thought she couldn’t hear him. “ Use your ‘kant’” he yelled again over the entire slope. There was still no movement.  “Just slide down on your ‘kant’”.

The woman eventually got down the mountain, I don’t know what on, but anyway nothing was said to the instructor and the lesson went on to finish. At the end of the day the instructors were having a few beers after work and this senior ski instructor, not wanting to have the same problem again, asked the boys what the English word for ‘kant’(edge) was and they asked ‘why’, so he told them that he wanted to tell this lady student today to use her edges but didn’t know the English word. They asked again ‘so what did you say?’

‘ Well, I told her to use her ‘kant’”.

After a few minutes of rolling around on the floor with laughter they finally told him what ‘kant’ meant in English and he said ‘ so that’s why her husband looked like he wanted to punch me out for the rest of the day’.

Coincidently, there is a town about 2 hours drive from us called F#CKING ( this is true), which apparently has a pretty amazing playground for the kids. We were thinking about taking a drive there but have since found out that the F#CKING mayor has closed the F#CKING playground along with all the other F#CKING attractions due to insufficient tourist numbers in the off season. The F#CKING residents are now concerned that the crime rate will double because all the F#CKING children will get bored… (this is not true)… the crime rate in Austria is very very low……

Picnic in the woods